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It was a dark and stormy night, and people across the country were desperately trying to write the worst opening sentence for a novel. Here's what the winner, David McKenzie, came up with:"Folks say that if you listen real close at the height of the full moon, when the wind is blowin' off Nantucket Sound from the nor' east and the dogs are howlin' for no earthly reason, you can hear the awful screams of the crew of the "Ellie May," a sturdy whaler Captained by John McTavish; for it was on just such a night when the rum was flowin' and, Davey Jones be damned, big John brought his men on deck for the first of several screaming contests."
Read more about the Bulwer-Lytton wretched-writing contest after the jump.
The contest, in honor of Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, who immeasurably inspired Snoopy by first writing the line "It was a dark and stormy night," in addition to coining phrases such as "the almighty dollar," and "the pen is mightier than the sword," challenges contestants to write the worst possible opening line. The end results, as bad writing contests tend to be, are hilarious.
In addition to kind of lame bragging rights, the winner also receives, in the words of the contest Web site, "a pittance."
